oh my lord. this is a photo of what success looks like.
anyone wanna make out… a check to me for 500,000 dollars
to people that sleep with their bedroom doors open:you are brave but you are going to die young
Wait do American people not call their friends mate?? Is this a thing???
Yup. I’m sure some do but mostly people just say friend. Which is boring but whatever.
Wait so you go up to your friends and be like “Hello friend.”
we use names
"Hey you piece of shit" works as well.
George & his little stuffed bilby. (x)
Me: [sniff, sniff] What is this? Hot ham water?
Mom: (not in on the joke) Yes! But don’t drink it! I’m reducing some wine in it.
Me: Wait. It’s really hot ham water?!
Mom: Yes. Here try it.
Me: Mmm so watery, yet there’s a smack of ham to it!
So I show her the Arrested Clip and then take a picture of it and she’s all, “oh my god you’re not going to let this thing go now?”
I wish men weren’t so fucking weak. You make me look bad. I have to answer for all the bullshit you get up to. I have to endure women saying shit like, “Ok, there’s so much testosterone in the air,” when she sees some men fixing a car. I hate it when men go to strip bars. It lowers the rest of us that know if a man has to pay to see a woman naked, he is a loser and probably should get weeded out. I hate having to be put in the same category as with these pieces of shit that wouldn’t make it in the jungle. Little boys in men’s bodies. No wonder women hate them. I do too. Fuck it. I hate all of you. People are disgusting.
— Henry Rollins - Solipsist (via just-legalize-everything)
old macdonald had a farm *bastille voice* eh oh eh oh eh eh oh eh oh
When it’s cold and rainy in IL, you want to kill everyone, but when it’s cold and rainy in London you can still go see a TARDIS. #tbt #wehavetogoback